I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
