So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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