he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
