I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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