just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
