there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
