drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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