that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
