We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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