he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
