Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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