I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
