my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
