his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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