is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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