just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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