Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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