ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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