I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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