if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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