honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
