Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize