Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All I want is dick and wine.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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