That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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