for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize