operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
