I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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