Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
don't judge my taste in strippers
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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