you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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