Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
