Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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