so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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