I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
