nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
