That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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