my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
high people should be assigned attendants
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
