Sponge bath it is.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
