Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
