i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
