Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
