I wish you could order shots online.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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