This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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