so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize