I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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