hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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