seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
