Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
