I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
