Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
