Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
