I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
