Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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