I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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