help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
