Someone shit on the floor
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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