let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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