had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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