Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
