wanna go halves on a baby?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
