she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
