You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
